"the firm"

'The only constant is change.' – Ηράκλειτος of Ephesus (c.535 BC - 475 BC)

...and so should be with my life. But what is going to change? Don't know but something should be. After enough coding and solving couple of -805s, there should be something else... "-805" ???... Ohh you don't know "-805"...that means you have never worked on 'mission critical' projects with IBM DB2 on 3270 screen. Ahhh...but don't worry as all IT projects are 'mission critical'...don't know why. I have never worked on a project which in not critical. May be IT industry has taken Elias Schwartz words seriously - Anything not worth doing is worth not doing.

So, one fine day I decided why not to switch? Not just company but altogether to a different industry, how about Banking & Finance???? Investment banking, equity and fixed-income sales, research and trading, investment management, private equity, and private banking...wow ...sounds good. I will be then analyzing financial data and all big big graphs based on current scenario, market trend, public sentiments. Great...!!!

"where to switch??" was a question which never bothered me. With my strong analysis and research I came up with a list of top firms worldwide. Worldwide?? yes... worldwide. I am willing to relocate even to Timbuktu or to Shangri La. Next step was to come up with "the firm" from the list of top firms, which led to a need for tough elimination round. Elimination round was sub-divided to...phone a friend, 50:50 and Public poll. "Change Question" was out of question. Finally the lucky winner was "the firm" which I was looking to work for.

"the firm":

• which started in 1840s
• which is top recruiter in all B-schools. Harvard, IMD, Stanford, LSE, LSB, IIMs...
• where 28000 employees work from 23 different countries.
• with a revenue of 59 billion USD (last financial year)
• with total assets of more than 691 billion USD (last financial year)
• where CEO earns USD 7,000,000 + stock option a year. This is 2006 figure and I didn't dare to know his current salary. Everyone down the hierarchy is also paid exorbitantly. Nahhh...I shouldn't say 'exorbitantly'.

I couldn’t stop imagining myself working on Toshiba Protégé R500 12S in my personal cabin on 30th floor of Bank Street at Canary Wharf, a Luxurious and elegant business district with Thames on its three side, with a spectacular view of the Millennium Dome from my cabin. Wohhhhffff....

I prepared a draft resume and then decided to apply my IT fundas which I have leant over the years. I sent my resume for review to a friend and his friend and his friend's friend; finally I incorporated all reviews comments and suddenly realized that the document has now turned to a utter crap. Somebody said it right -too many cooks spoil the broth. Then with a broken heart i took a step back and kept all fundas to shelves and came up with a really nice resume. What was I waiting for next? Nothing. I had a nice sleep after sending the resume to HR.

Next day "the firm" made a breaking news on almost all news channels including Aaj Tak. News was - "the firm" ANNOUNCES IT INTENDS TO FILE CHAPTER 11 BANKRUPTCY PETITION. "the firm" has a dedicated risk analysis team which monitors almost all multinational and fortune 500 companies round the clock but they forgot to analyze their own risk. Haila...!!!

So now "the firm" may consider to change their 'Mission Statement' from -

We are One Firm of dedicated professionals, working together to build unrivaled partnerships with our clients. Our hallmark is a unique culture that puts clients at the heart of everything we do, stands by our commitment to maintain the highest ethical standards, focuses on our clients’ best interests and delivers the full resources of the Firm every day to help our clients realize their vision.

to -

We were One Firm of dedicated professionals, working together to build rivaled partnerships with our clients. Our hallmark is a unique culture that puts clients at the heart attack of everything we do, stands by our commitment to maintain the highest hypothetical standards, focuses on our clients’ best interests and delivers the full resources of the Firm every day to help our clients realize their vision was confusion.

and re-branding may happen soon from Lehman to LayOffMan.

Don't worry about me. My life is still going to be changed. Now I am going to work for 'Lashmi Chit fund'. Its just a new startup with small brand image, but can I assure you that my new company is at par with all other investment bank works. Wish me all the best.

ps: Lehman Brothers Holdings is closing its doors with more than $600 billion of debt -- the biggest bankruptcy in U.S. history. The previous largest bankruptcy was that of WorldCom Inc. in July 2002, which had $104 billion of assets.